The First Time I Faked It!

I’m faking a spa treatment. Isn’t that insane? Is it possible I am the first to ever do such a questionable thing in order to get some alone time?! I have fraudulently siphoned off three hours by myself! I don’t even have a plan. No place I plan to go. Just that I would have no chaos with me!

Basically, it came about last week when my mother encouraged me to call our closest fancy pants day spa in a local fancy pants hotel. We have some vouchers for treatments from ages ago that risk expiring soon. She wanted me to go ahead and use mine while she was next visiting and could mind the boys.

Knowing that I probably wouldn’t get an appointment without having called at least two weeks in advance, I called anyhow and as expected all booked up – at least for the time that I was available to go, they were not available to take me!

But never fear, a devious plan surfaced. I saw a chance to get out for a while and I wasn’t passing it up. So I’m faking a spa treatment! I told my mum my massage was at 11am, I’d need to leave by 10.30 and I probably wouldn’t be back till lunch!

As I drove out the gate this morning I had no destination in mind, all I knew was I wanted to get out of town but not too far because when I get were I’m going I want the maximum amount of time I could have to chill. Relax. Escape!

So I’ve been here since 11am, I’ve bought some house plants, a few church candles for my new lanterns at home, I’ve tried on dresses in a fanciful leisurely manner, twirled around back to front and back again, up on tip toes to imagine how the favorite dress might look with heels versus flats, weighed up how it sits over my behind and how it complements my..frontage! And then I bought it! I visited one of my favorite breakable shops without fear of small hands picking, touching, knocking over. Now I’ve taken myself to Costa coffee and had my lunch without sharing, without warning anyone to sit down and not spill juice, I’ve had a caramel square guilt free without having to battle with my conscience about feeding a kid more crap and hilariously I’ve bought gifts for my kids. I’m out enjoying the freedom and yet wanting to bring them Souvenirs de la Fake Massage Day! I can’t even give them the gifts until tomorrow or another time because what hotel spa sells kids activity books? Ha.

Anyhow, faking it’s been fun. I feel mild guilt but maximum relaxation and sure isn’t that the whole point of a massage??

I’m off now to slap a generous amount of moisturizer on my face and a little in my hair line so as I go home looking all oiled up and smelling pretty. Ha. This is a new low. But it’s a bit of a high!!

Everything Mummy

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