If Anything’s Guaranteed To Wake A Child…

I’ve been feeling pretty proud of my slightly longer than stumps nails this week. Small victory and all as that might be!

A few days ago I boasted to a friend that I have found a fool proof way to paint my nails and give them a fighting chance of drying and here it is:

Going out the door to the shops? Post office? Anywhere further than a six minute drive basically?
Throw a bottle of your chosen varnish into your bag.
Strap all hostages into seats. (Hostages because they are always being taken against their will, am I right?)
Hop into driver seat.
Drop a window for air.
Pop some Frozen/ Taylor Swift/Whatever keeps them quiet on the radio and announce:
“OK, leaving here in five my loves “…
And paint.

That’s it. They’re all tied up in restraints behind you. You’re in a comfortable seated position. By the time you’ve driven with care to your destination your nails are dry!

And bonus. ..both hands are done!

That is the ultimate bonus to me. Two hands fully varnished, all ten nails with even number of coats.
I can’t tell you how often I have stolen two quick minutes in the bathroom to paint a hand, one hand only so as I always have the other hand available for the needs, filling out juice, opening a wrapper, wiping a bum, mopping up the juice I just poured… and you know what? Three days pass before I find another stolen few minutes to think of painting the other hand which is absolutely no use because by now the first hand is an array of chipped and broken bits of red or coral or mint varnish. I have spent weeks with one hand of painted nails and never gotten to the other hand!

Last night I reached out for the polish. Ruby Red. I had painted the left hand at lunch time already. The kids are all asleep. There hasn’t been a sound for two hours and I’ve wasted that time looking at upstyling tutorials amd Ikea hacks on Pinterest. I open the varnish for the right hand.
I think “Wouldn’t it be witty to write a post about how guarenteed to wake a child it is to open a varnish bottle?” I do a little blog photography to go with my witty post idea. I sit to begin ….

“Mmmmmaaaaaammmmyyyyy…”

I can’t believe it. Yet I can. I brought it on myself. Only me to blame. Being so cavalier with my precious minutes. Off I go with my still unpainted right hand. It will probably remain so for a week I bet!